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real relationship

The first real relationship you have is both the sweetest, best thing in the world, and the hardest, most soul-crushing thing in the world.

Caring for somebody deeply is exciting and crazy in all the right ways, but learning all the lessons about heartbreak the first time ’round feels impossible until you make it through. A recent asked people to reveal all the lessons they learned from those first relationships, and all of them are so, so real.

1. You can convince yourself anything is fine if you don’t think you have any other options.” —DFP_

2. “When trust goes the relationship follows after.” —44elite444

3. “How incredibly important it is to find someone that is of, or around, the same emotional and mental maturity as you. Also don’t ignore red flags. If there is recurring behavior that gives you pause, listen to that feeling.” —TacticalTruth

4. “Your partner is your best friend, but shouldn’t be your ONLY friend.” —Teaquanox

5. “That the both of you can be perfectly good people, but that doesn’t always mean you’re good for each other. And that’s okay.” —pistachio muffin

6. “That an end to a once beautiful relationship is something you can recover from.” —pandafoxshark

7. You’re far better off finding someone you’re compatible with than trying to mold the first person who shows interest into someone you’d actually want to date.” —Just_Move_Out

8. The thought process directly following an orgasm is a surprisingly effective gauge for how much you love a person.” —dicklemytick

9. You can’t save someone, they have to save themselves.” —StudebakerHotch

10. “People can totally mean something when they’re with you, but have different priorities when you’re absent.” —Accent-man

11. Long-distance sucks.” —p1i1c1h1u

12. “You can, and will, get absolutely furious over shit that don’t matter. Talk about your issues, it helps in the long run.” —Amirax

13. “Just because you’ve invested so much time into a person doesn’t mean you have to stick with them after you’ve fallen out of love with them.” —-thisperson

14.There are worse things than being single.” —CatRugLZol

15. “Someone can claim to be completely in love with you one day and wake up the next day wanting nothing to do with you. And it’s not always your fault.” —string

16.You can’t just fix someone’s problems for them no matter how much you care and no matter how much it hurts to see them suffer. The best you can do is be supportive.” —improvyourfaceoff

17. Try to be the partner you would want to have.” —TheOne-ArmedMan

18. “Broken people will be a good fit for other broken people. But it can hurt like hell.” —Cheniarg

19.It hurts less to have a hard conversation now than to put them off.” —revdrcanon

20. Don’t fall too hard too fast. We dated seriously for three years, but got emotionally serious way too fast. The fizzle was hard and fast on my end.” —MadeSomewhereElse

21. I deserve more than I always believed.” —Aimless_Precision

22. Don’t put in more than you get back.” —royal

23. Equal ambition is a necessity to success in a relationship.” —Kenner

24. All the love in the world isn’t enough.” —JapaneseMercedes

25. “You have to be happy together and happy when you’re apart.” —BurstStream

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